“I’m beginning to realize Lord, how you must feel. I’ve done the very same thing to You at times that my child has done to me. I want to help her, to be there for her, but she won’t let me. How many times have you wanted to be there for me but I wouldn’t let you?”
I sat there, alone in my room, trying to cope with the stinging pain of rejection. Rejection from my own precious child, still so young and in need at this difficult time in her life, who I felt now more than ever, needed us, her mom and dad. Yet, she chose to leave. She left to be with people who in no way loved her anywhere near as much as her dad and I did.
As I sat there on my bed feeling hopelessly consumed by my grief, I began to realize the truth about my own prodigal moments with my Heavenly Father. “She doesn’t feel as though she needs me right now, Lord”, I cried through swollen tear stained eyes. “There have been times when I’ve felt I didn’t need you.”
“She pushes me away. I’ve pushed you away too.”
“She turns to people who don’t have the right answers or who don’t even care for her or love her as much as I do. Oh dear Lord! How often have I run to other people instead of you?”
“She doesn’t trust my guidance and direction in this situation. How many times have I not trusted you?”
“I feel so unwanted, unneeded by her. How many times have I made you feel unwanted, not needed?”
Oh Father!” I sobbed. At that moment, I was no longer wallowing in my own pain. Instead, I found myself feeling the pain that my heavenly Father felt every time I, his precious daughter, had rejected his loving, caring guidance and direction.
If you are the parent of a prodigal child, you know how painful it can be being forced to wait in the wings knowing you can help the child that you love so much, yet he/she refuses your loving guidance and direction.
How many times though, have we made the foolish mistake of leaving our loving heavenly Father waiting in the wings to help us? It’s painful for Him to be left to wait in the wings for us as well.
Please forgive us God, for there have been times that we ourselves have been the prodigal.