I sat there, alone in my room, trying to cope with the stinging pain of rejection. Rejection from my own precious child, pregnant with child, still so young and in need at this difficult time in her life, who I felt now more than ever, needed us, her mom and dad. Yet, she chose to leave. She left to be with people who in no way loved her anywhere near as much as her dad and I did.
As I sat there on my bed feeling hopelessly consumed by my grief, it hit me. I took a deep breath and exhaled long and slow. “She doesn’t feel as though she needs me right now, Lord”, I cried through swollen tear stained eyes. “There have been times when I’ve felt I didn’t need you.”
“She pushes me away. I’ve pushed you away too.”
“She turns to people who don’t have the right answers or who don’t even care for her or love her as much as I do. Oh dear Lord! How often have I run to other people instead of you?”
“She doesn’t trust my guidance and direction in this situation. How many times have I not trusted you?”
“I feel so unwanted, unneeded by her. How many times have I made you feel unwanted, not needed?”
“Oh Father!” I sobbed. “Please forgive me! I’m beginning to realize how You must feel. I’ve done the very same thing to you that my child has done to me! I want to help her, to be there for her, but she won’t let me. How many times have You wanted to be there for me but I wouldn’t let you? I too, have been a prodigal!”
If you are the parent of a prodigal child, you know the pain I have spoken of. It’s heart wrenching, being forced to wait in the wings, knowing you can help the child that you love so much, yet he/she refuses your loving guidance and direction.
How many times though, have we made the foolish mistake of leaving our loving heavenly Father waiting in the wings to help us? It’s painful for Him to be left to wait in the wings for us as well.
Please forgive us God, for there have been times that we ourselves have been the prodigal.